So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize