Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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