I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
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