i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize