Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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