you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
