His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
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