He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
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