That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I'm sobbing to NWA
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
