captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
How naked do you want me to be?
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
