Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Randomize
