Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
