wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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