I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I love having hate sex.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
