Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
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