Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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