Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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