It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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