fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
