Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
