Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
