I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
