He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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