We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
then he tried to convert me to islam
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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