he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Randomize
