I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
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