Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
