I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I think pants incapable of making pants work
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
