Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
