He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
We talked him into tasing himself.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
