dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
either way he was missing a nipple.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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