WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
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yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
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You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
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