that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Randomize
