can u get pink eye on your cock?
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
