3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
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