I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
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