And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize
