you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
