Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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