Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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