next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
