so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
bring money and cleavage
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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