Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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