So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
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