You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize