so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
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