you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
