Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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