Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Randomize
