I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
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