you turned your livingroom into a bong?
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Everclear isn't food dammit
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
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