We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
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