It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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