haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
