yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
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so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
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I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
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