So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
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