He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
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