I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize
