STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Pants are for mortals
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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