imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
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