what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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