After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
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