We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
