Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
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