I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize