She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize
