Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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