Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
