it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I need to wash the frat house off of me
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
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