I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Houston, we have a squirter
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
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