clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Randomize
