doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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