how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
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