I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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