the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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