dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Randomize